The Inner Pigeon
by lightbulbfaerys
Summary: The sequel to the big pear. Same people with a new writer. Includes Egg killing manics and guns
1. Guns, pigeons and giant purple eggs

INTRODUCING OUR NEW MEMBER! (we would like to point out that it would be completely pointless to read this unless you have read "THE BIG PEAR" if you haven't read it………READ IT NOW!!!

Hey all tis Jennie!! Guess what adoring fans! The duo has no become trio! An evil, evil trio who will suck out your brains and give them to our pet pigeons for fun! Not really were just going to write really annoying stories.

(Rebecca) What? I liked the brain sucking idea. My pigeon is hungry! Look he's eating that funny fluffy lumpy thing in the cage.

(Jennie) That's not a funny lumpy thing its MY PIGEON!!

(Rebecca) Anyway we would like to introduce our new writer……….JOANNE!!

(Joanne) _insane stare_

(Jennie) Anyway_…scared…_This story is dedicated, To my inner pigeon.

(Rebecca) Well I'm dedicating it to my outer pigeon…in the cage…eating the funny lumpy thing because its so hungry….TAKE PITY CRUEL PEOPLE, DONATE YOUR BRAINS FOR THE SAKE OF MY PIGEON, COO!

(Jennie) Yet again the lumpy thing is, Edgar, MY PIGEON!

(Joanne) I _shall dedicate this to the readers fake sob who made all this possible for me! _fake sob

(Rebecca) _whispered to Jennie _When did Jo win the cookie award?

(Jennifer) _Gives weird stare_ Cookie award?

(Rebecca) Crazy Operator On Killing Innocent Eggs

(Jennifer) Joanne kills eggs?

(Joanne) What how did you find out about this!!!

(Rebecca) I just made it up, sounded funny in my head.

(Joanne and Jennifer) Rebecca…..Have you something to confess

(Rebecca) No…..

(Joanne) _picks up Hunters giant purple egg that Robbie stole from the museum_

(Hunter) NOOOOOOOOO!! Not Egbert!! What did he ever do to you _cries runs forward_

(Jennifer) _points a gun at the egg_ I'll blast it!

(Hunter and Rebecca) Nooooooo! _cry_

(Rebecca) I loof Egbert!! He was my idea _sob_

(Jennifer) HE WAS MY IDEA!

(Rebecca) _shocked_ Was not!

(Jennifer) Was too!

(Joanne) It was my idea!!

(Rebecca) _sobs_

(Hunter) _pats Rebecca on the head_ It was Rebecca's idea.

(Rebecca)_ smiles _Yay! Hugle! _hugs_

(Joanne and Jennie) _laugh hysterically_

(Jennie) Ha Ha! Your friends with the English ponce!

(Rebecca) Well he's um….um…he's a good listener!

(Hunter) And I look good!

(Rebecca) And he's so cute when he gets the crap kicked out of him!

(Joanne) _still laughing hysterically _

(Hunter) And my lightning fast seeker skills!

(Rebecca) See I loof him that's the main thing.

(Morgan) What!!!! Hands off _the_ boy friend!!!!

(Rebecca) _coldly_ Get back in the cage!

(Morgan) Well Hunters coming with me!

(Rebecca) No!!!!

(Hunter) No!!!!

(Rebecca) He's staying with me!! You're a rotten girl friend! And….and….your nasty and YOU SMELL!!!

(Jennifer) LIKE GRASS!

(Joanne) THAT'S JUST BEEN CUT!!!! _dances around and drops egg_

(Hunter and Rebecca) Nooooo!

(Morgan) Yay!!! _Egbert doesn't brake_

(Joanne) It didn't brake... WHY DIDN'T IT BRAKE!?!?

(Rebecca_) slaps Morgan for saying yay. Morgan slaps her back for slapping her. This goes on for a bit and then Joanne hits Morgan over the head with the unbreakable egg to try and brake it. Its doesn't brake so she hits her over the head lots with it._

(Jennie) Morgan, step away from the egg murdering maniac and get back in your cage!

(Morgan) But I…

(Jennie) _reloads gun and it makes that way cool noise_ NOW!

(Morgan) I'm not leaving without Hunter.

(Hunter) Toodle pip old chum _Jennie blasts Morgan's head off and starts dancing around the room in a victory dance_

(Rebecca) And you're the sane one.

(Jennie) _stops dancing and points gun at her_ What did you say?

(Rebecca) Nothing.

(Joanne_)sits for a moment and stares at Morgan brains, then a light bulb appears above her head_

(Rebecca) LOOK, a lightbulb _the lightbulb gets blasted by Jennie's gun_

(Joanne) oh yeah _holds egg threateningly above Rebecca's head_ WHAT HAVE YOU TO CONFESS!!!

(Rebecca) Alright, alright. I'm a sugar junkie.

(Joanne) I knew it, I knew the first time I saw you eating sugar, raw sugar.

(Rebecca) Raw sugar?

(Joanne) Yes, you can get raw sugar, boiled sugar, fried sugar, sugar mixed with butter and if you boil it in a basil sauce…

(Jennie) you should know all this

(Rebecca) You've been reading my sugar cook books again.

(Joanne) Oh yeah, and that was a good hint you were a sugar junkie.

(Jennie) Hold the phone, how did you get out of your cage?

(Hunter) Because I have a_ drum roll and the three girls look around _A HARRY POTTER WAND!!!

(Jennie) _Blasts the twinkly star off the end_

(Hunter) Gulp

(Jennie) Not anymore, and that's not a Harry potter wand. That's a tinker bell wand. _Aims gun at his head_ Now say goodbye to your head

(Hunter) Where is it going?

(Joanne) Along the yellow brick road

(Hunter) Really?

(Joanne) I was being wide! She's going to blow your head off?

(Hunter) Oh…..bollocks

(Rebecca) Like bubbles?

(Jennie) No like with a gun!

(Rebecca) NO! I like his head! All hollow with his cute spiky blonde hair!! _Protects head_

(Jennie) Rebecca, he doesn't like Buffy or Angel

(Rebecca) _Lets go of Hunters head_ What? Since when!!! Deny it Hunter!!! Say she's lying!!!

(Hunter) I've never seen it! I have no TV!!!

(Rebecca) Take pity!!!! He has no TV its not his fault. Wanna come to my house and watch all the Buffy box sets??

(Hunter) Sure

(Jennie) _Blows his head off_

(Rebecca) NO!!!!!! I loof Hunter!! Hes so blonde and stupid and cute and says such stupid things and is slow and…..hes a lot like me but with blonde hair……I MISS HIM!!! _Starts complicated resurrection spell_

(Joanne) WHY WON'T THIS DAMM EGG BRAKE!!!!

(Jennie) Maybe if you teach it to fly it might break.

(Joanne) Great idea!!! _They both walk off to the nearest cliff, which is incidentally at the other end of the room_

(Jennie) Have you ever thought that since we hang out here so much that it's amazing that none of us have fallen off?

(Joanne_)walks off with the cliff with the egg in her hand and dies _

(Jennie) Oh my golly gosh, I think I killed her…….YAY!

(Egg) _Bounces up and lands beside Rebecca_

(Joanne) I can fly!!!!!!!

(Jennie) Ahh!!! Sea gull!!!! _Shoots Joanne_ Oops that's Joanne……..Oh well.

(Joanne) I'm not dead its ok!

(Jennifer) _Shoots again_ Your dead now!!!!

(Joanne) No I'm not, the bullet just went through my arm.

(Jennie) WHY WON'T YOU DIE!!!! _shoots with gun lots of time_

(Rebecca) Resurrection complete! Hunter!!!!

(Hunter) Rebecca!!!!! Egbert!!!

(Morgan) That's it!!! Your dumped!

(Rebecca) _disappointed_ your alive, why are you alive?

(Hunter) Uh hunny…..you did the wrong spell, that's the resurrect every one in the room spell.

(Rebecca) Aww

(Joanne) I'm alive!!!

(Morgan) I THOUGHT I WAS HUNNY!!!!

(Hunter) You dumped me……your problem.

(Rebecca) Ha Ha! Bitch you were nasty to Hunter. _Picks up baby Egbert the egg_ Lets go watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer her and Hunter skip off to watch Buffy

(Joanne and Jennie) Normal!

(Morgan) Its not fair why am I so socially retarded??

(Jennie) _Has nervous brake down looking from Morgan to Joanne _Your supposed to be dead!!!!! I shoot you in the head!!! I shoot you lots!!! Why aren't you dead??? GET BACK IN YOUR CAGE!!!!!

(Morgan) _doesn't argue this time_

(Jennie) Hey my pigeons alive! Cool.

(Joanne) Maybe we should get into the story?

(Jennie) Oh yeah, next time when Rebecca gets back. Then well start our new sequel to "THE BIG PEAR"…………………………………………………………………………………………………….. "TO MY INNER PIGEON" our version of "Changeling"


	2. The puffa cat

Chapter two……………the actual story!...maybe. We would like to note that Morgan only understands pigeon talk. Not Dagda the puffa cat talk.

**MORGANS POV**

Its not fair. My head hurts, I'm boyfriendless, my head hurts, and Mary K is worshiping her toothbrushes too loudly!

"Brusha, Brusha, Brusha it's a brand new toothbrush! Oh so new and shiny! Oh I love my tooth brush!" And my head hurts…..hold the phone; I got shot…then resurrected….by the evil bitch boyfriend stealer! (A.N _Becca_. Nuh uh! He chose me bitch!) So the bullet must still be in my head. (A.N Mwa ha ha!) And worst of all there are no eggs left! (A.N _Jo _What? Quit looking at me.) And these authors are arguing in my brain! (A.N _all _What brain?) GET OUT! (A.N _all mumbling randomly _Uh…soz…we'll go…sorry…oops I think I squished something!...urg…were going).

Huh surprisingly my head ach has vanished. I'm missing a circle…I don't want to go. Hunter will be there…it's not fair. He seemed so useless when he was about. He was useless when he was about. But he's so damn good looking. Sob. Sulk. Moan.

"Meow" I looked down to find Dagda. My puffa cat. He's grey and puffy and cute what a comforting site!

"Hello, you'll never leave me will you cutie!" I stoked him.

"That would be because you've chained me to a wall! You insane puffa kitty killer!"

"Aw…your so sweet with your little meows you love me don't you!"

"No"

"Yes you do Mr Cutie Kitty, yes you do"

"Your really not getting this are you."

"Aww I wish you were smart enough to talk"

"I'm a hell of a lot smarter than you!"

"And be my personal fluffy calculator"

"5262.584 x 57.767-657.25 is 314,899.8399"

"And then when you die I'll make a big fluffy coat out of you for Mary K's tooth brushes." Dagda's eyes go wide and he faints. Did I do that? I quickly shove him under the bed. I'll skin him later…

**MARY K**

"All hail the new member to our toothbrush gods!" I chanted. "He has been born of the toothbrush factory and now he has been promoted to the godliness of toothbrush gods!"

"Oom be-ada, oom be-ad!" Bob-Chuck chanted the traditional welcome chant.

"And now he is a member of the holy circle of toothbrushes!" I finished

"Yay, so that you can take them away on holiday and leave me behind trying to find you!" He won't let that go! Sheesh!

"Well your just crappy at the game you should have been able to find me in New York." I argued.

"Its not my fault I'm crap at hide and seek! I'm imaginary you made me crap at every game so you could win!" How does he know that?

"I did not! I am outraged! I made you the best at all games I win out of pure skill!" He can really get on my nerves sometimes why did my mind make him so damn smart?

"Yes of course you did, I'm the best at all games that's why Toby the snail managed to beat me in that race!" Pfh!

"I'll have you know Toby is a very talented member of my teddies!"

"He's a bloody stuffed toy!" Did Bob-Chuck just say that!

"Do not swear in the presence of the holy vessels! And Toby is not a stuffed toy he's a real boy!"

"One, he's a snail. Two he's a stuffed snail. Three I'll bloody swear in front of your stupid toothbrushes if I want! Four I'm leaving you!"

"Fine! I never liked you anyway you evil toothiest imaginary weirdo!"

"At least I don't leave my friends to live in a garbage bin while I go on holiday to New York to find the rest of the holy family of TOOTHBRUSHES!"

"I'm hurt. I'm really hurt."

"That's because your sitting on a toothbrush." Noooooo! I rescue it quickly! I'm sorry!

"I'm so sorry! Noooo! I'm too late! It's gone!"

"You are such a retard I'm going to live with Alisa…she's cute."

"Alisa?"

"She was hanging around in your fan club group and you've never noticed her!"

"Uh…. nope."

"She's a friend of Jaycee's"

"Ahhhh! I see, so you're leaving me for her!"

"Em yes actually." I watched him go and I knew had just walked out of my life…..FOREVER! I carefully pick up my toothbrushes packing them in there special cases. I can't believe he's g-g-gone! Sob!... Oh well no rest for the holy.

"Morgan I'm going to Jaycee's!"

"I'm dealing with my pain!"

"You can only deal with your pain if you regain your faith!"

"My Christian faith?"

"No, your toothbrush faith!"

"Screw you, you scary little psycho sister!"

"I'm going!"

"Go then!"

"Tutalafruit!"

"Bon boyage, psycho!"

"Aufwiedersehn"

"So long fair well aufwiedersehn good bye!"  
"The hills are alive with the sound of music!" We both sang the whole movie out. Then Morgan threw a ball of her unholy fire at my head so I left this house of sin! Never to return again! Until the next book…..c ya all! I loof you! Sob! I'll miss we mean Morgan

To do list-

-Pull bullet out of brain

-Cry

-Hit Rebecca on the head with giant purple egg  
-Cry

-Brake egg!

-Cry

-Get shot in the head

-Cry

-Die

-Do circle by my norminated self, try and levitate…… a peanut

(A.N we'll be back…..maybe but we only got 1 review so were sad and if theres no more reviews then we will stop)


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